Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
