so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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