If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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