is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
