You're so nebulous sometimes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
