lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
