my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
