I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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