we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
