I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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