Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
