Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what day is it and did you see me today?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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