dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I love you. Go after that dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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