roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
