Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
