Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
