just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I smell like Dick and happiness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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