I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
