i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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