His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
