I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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