I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
