If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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