Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone came in the potted fern
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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