Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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