Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
