If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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