just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
