I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We got so high we made milksteak
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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