Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Will exercising make me less horny?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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