We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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