there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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