I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
