i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
