I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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