You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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