I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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