Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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