okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
