bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
