problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
