I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
