Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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