According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
