I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize