I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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