Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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