I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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