Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
