so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
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We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.