it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.