We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
