Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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