people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
