covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
