16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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