Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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