Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize