In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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